


ho ho hopefully

by cherryraindrops



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Christmas fic, Fluff, Holiday Cliches, M/M, Minor Angst, Musician Jeremy, Rich Guy Ryan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 11:00:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16973361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryraindrops/pseuds/cherryraindrops
Summary: Ryan Haywood may dislike Christmas, but Jeremy Dooley was dead set on changing his mind.or, Jeremy is a busker who gains the attention of Ryan, who needs a last-minute performer for a holiday party he wanted no part of.





	ho ho hopefully

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a request in my inbox on tumblr: "i hate the holidays more than anything in the world and you drive me nuts because you love the holidays more than anything in the world and this is why we aren’t friends (enemies to friends to lovers hello)" It was meant to be a drabble, but I got carried away, as usual! 
> 
> The title is from Ho Ho Hopefully by The Maine
> 
> Happy Holidays, and enjoy!!

Jeremy Dooley had never once had a wonderful Christmas. Having been in and out of foster homes his whole life left little time to really celebrate the holiday, even if the families he stayed with celebrated the holiday. Still, despite the lack of holiday cheer around him, Jeremy loved the holiday just as much as his mother had when she was alive.

He had lost his parents when he was young, barely six years old. Typical car accident. Jeremy had been at his grandmother’s house at the time of the accident, only hearing about it when a police officer came knocking on his grandmother’s door. The poor woman wasn’t able-bodied enough to care for a six-year-old, which lead to Jeremy being placed into foster care.

It hadn’t been so bad a first, being placed with other kids whose parents had also passed. Jeremy was a shy kid though, so he was quite isolated from the others as time went on. He had different interests growing up as well, trading up time to play dinosaurs with the other kids in favor of playing around on an old guitar one of the ladies at the orphanage gave him. He loved making music, even if some of it didn’t make sense at all.

His first foster home was one of an older woman and her drunkard husband. The woman herself was awfully kind, making Jeremy sweet treats and singing him to sleep. Her husband, however, was violent and cruel towards Jeremy. Eventually, the neighbors called social services on the couple and Jeremy had been removed. He’s not sure how he was placed there, to begin with, with the husband’s violent nature, but he assumes the foster system just imagined the wife being perfect and overlooked the other imperfections.

His second family didn’t last long either, nor did his third one. He was in and out of various homes for various reasons, and he never once managed to find a place where he belonged. It was as if no one wanted to handle Jeremy, and he didn’t quite understand why that was.

As he grew older, Jeremy began to dye his hair various different colors. In a life that was bleak and grey, Jeremy just wanted to throw in some color. He’d seen the colors in a magazine before, decorating a guy’s hair. It looked neat, amazing, and Jeremy had wanted to give it a try for himself. Hair dye was expensive for someone as poor as Jeremy, but it was also the one thing that made him happy aside from his guitar.

That was how Jeremy made his way through the cruel world: people were either attracted to the way he played his guitar on various street corners, or they were mesmerized by the colors in his hair. Either way, one of the two earned him some sort of income to survive. He was grateful.

Tonight’s location happened to be the famous Ramsey Plaza, where Jeremy had overheard was hosting a glamorous Christmas party for the night. Figuring he could make some quick cash, he set up his guitar at the front of the hotel and began to strum some Christmas tunes. If the word about the party was correct, some of the rich might take pity on him and offer him a couple of bucks. It would be enough to pay for another night in the cheap Motel 6 down the street, that was for sure.

He’s begun to play the opening chords of ‘Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas’ when he spots a man arrive in a taxi, hands stuffed in his expensive wool coat and a grey beanie covering his head. When he looks up at the hotel, Jeremy nearly forgets the chords to the song as his breath gets knocked out of him.

The man was absolutely _breathtaking._ Crystal blue eyes that shined underneath the Christmas lights, soft blonde hair pulled into a ponytail resting across his shoulder and becoming decorated with the snowfall. His features were soft, stubble decorating his jawline, though the scowl adorning his face made it impossible to see the true beauty of his lips.

“What do you mean our performers will not be here?” The man spits into his phone, his voice filled with malice. It completely throws Jeremy’s assumption of the man being sweet out the window. “I can’t just schedule a DJ or some shit this late! What do you expect me to do now, find someone off the fucking street?”

His final words make Jeremy’s ears perk up, though he continues to play. There was no point on getting his hopes up in getting a bigger gig, and he was definitely not prepared for a performance in front of a bunch of rich socialites. He certainly didn’t fit in with them, clothing and look wise. He’d be ridiculed rather than praised and he’d rather get through the night without a bruised ego.

He finishes up his song, earning a little bit of applause from some passing people. A few dollars find their way into his guitar case as he thanks them for listening, offering the kindest of smiles and a cheery ‘Happy Holidays!’ as they depart. He least expects it when a large stack of money is tossed into his case, making Jeremy’s eyes widen.

When he looks up, it’s the man.

“As much as I completely loathe Christmas,” the man says, hands tucked into his wool coat once more. “You have an incredible voice. Though I must say, your guitar looks like it has seen much better days.”

That wasn’t a lie. Jeremy’s guitar was completely battered, duct tape covering various parts of it to keep it together. Of course, it wasn’t like he could afford to purchase a new one. He’d rather have a week’s worth of food than a brand new guitar. “Well, maybe with your generous tip I could afford a new one. Thank you very much.” He’s quick to adjust the beanie on his head, covering his ears. The wind was beginning to pick up a bit, and he was becoming incredibly chilly.

The man seems to notice this, removing his own coat and handing it to Jeremy. “The coat you are wearing seems really thin. Please, just take mine.” There’s a genuine smile on his face as he offers up the coat, Jeremy hesitant. Yes, his own coat was incredibly thin, and the harsh weather was making him incredibly cold, but he didn’t deserve this. He wasn’t worth losing such a nice coat.

“Are you sure?” he asks, removing his guitar and setting it down in the case. “That coat looks awfully expensive; I don’t think you should be letting a complete stranger wear it. Besides, don’t you need a coat as well?” While Jeremy assumes the man could probably afford another one, he stills feels weird about taking the coat.

The man shakes his head. “You need it more than I do, that’s for sure.” He allows Jeremy to take the coat from his grasp, the eye-crinkling smile never leaving his face. “I’m Ryan, by the way. How would you like an opportunity to make a little more cash tonight, and keep warm?”

❄️ ❄️ ❄️

Ryan Haywood absolutely loathed Christmas. There wasn’t a single thing about the holiday that brought him joy, nor did it make him feel loved. In fact, Christmas had become the holiday in which Ryan hated everything to do with it and everyone involved with it.

So, it completely baffled him when his good friend, Geoff Ramsey, asked Ryan to oversee his annual Christmas party. Ryan knew Geoff was aware of his absolute hatred for the holiday. He made it obvious when the staff began to put up the Christmas tree that he had no desire to celebrate the holiday at all. The fact that his friend would place him in charge of a Christmas party was just cruel and insensitive in Ryan’s eyes.

Planning had been a miserable task, having to force himself to be excited about the Christmas spirit. Most of the work had been perfectly planned, from the catering to the decorations. He had even spent a large sum of money on an amazing band Jack had referred him too, only for a last-minute cancellation. As it had turned out, the band had decided that performing at some place in Europe was more important than some Christmas party in Boston.

Ryan was close, so, so close to tossing his phone into the pavement, when suddenly a voice entered his ears, followed by the soft strumming of a guitar. He knew it was a Christmas song, knew that the sense of hatred for Christmas should have smacked him in the face by now, but instead of rage filling him, it was awe. Whoever was singing the song, their voice was lovely. It had reminded Ryan of when he was younger, and his mother would sing this exact song to him during the holiday season. Back before the hatred.

He turns towards the sound and catches the eye of an incredibly beautiful man, and suddenly, he’s not so upset about the cancellation. Whomever this man was, he was amazing. Ryan knew right then and there he had to speak with the man, this could be his chance of saving the dreaded Christmas party.

He hardly expected the man to agree.

Now here they were, standing in the grand ballroom of the Ramsey Plaza, setting up the stage for the man’s, Jeremy’s, performance. Jeremy’s eyes are glistening in the bright lights decorating the stage, making the deep brown sparkle. Still, Ryan has yet to get past the bright orange hair the boy sports, or the tattered clothing.

“I’m going to grab you a change of clothes,” Ryan tells him, hopping off the stage. “I’m sure you’ll be more comfortable wearing something that isn’t covered in holes, wouldn’t you?” He knows Jack wouldn’t mind if he dug around his closet a little, especially when he tells him it was for a man as cute as Jeremy. All he needed was a nice sweater and some new jeans, nothing too much.

The man shakes his head at Ryan, holding a hand up. “You’ve done so much for me already; I don’t need you getting me clothes.” He’s polite, that was for sure. Ryan wondered how someone on the streets of Boston could have such kindness, especially since Ryan hardly knew anyone here that did. It was a cutthroat world out there, after all. Jack and Geoff had been the only ones kind enough to Ryan.

He had met Geoff when he was younger after his hatred for Christmas had begun. They became best friends almost immediately, clicking instantly at the fact that the two of them had rich parents who never really bothered to give them the time of day. They ended up wreaking havoc together around the hotel, spending many days over at the other’s houses. Geoff was his best friend, even after Jack came along, and he wouldn’t trade the man for anyone. Geoff had been there through a lot of moments in Ryan’s life, making Ryan smile during the rough moments, and making him laugh when he needed it most.

Despite Geoff’s undying love for the holiday, Ryan loved his best friend.

“Well, no offense,” Ryan begins, helping Jeremy off the stage and allowing the man to follow him towards the elevators. “You need to clean up a little for the performance. I’ll allow you to use a shower, change into something classier for the party. I promise that it costs nothing, just put on a kick-ass performance.”

Jeremy seems incredibly hesitant, and Ryan begins to wonder if, despite Jeremy’s kind heart, if anyone had ever treated him kindly. It’s as if Ryan’s generosity was shocking, that anyone giving him the time of day was unbelievable. Ryan truly didn’t understand that either. Jeremy seemed like the person everyone wanted to be around.

“Thank you,” Jeremy finally says, following Ryan into the elevator. “Sorry, it’s just a little strange to be treated such a way by someone like you.”

Ryan raises an eyebrow. “Should I be taking offense to that?”

Jeremy shakes his head, smiling down at his feet. He’s blushing, it’s adorable. “I didn’t mean to be offensive. Normally people with money spit at me and treat me with no respect. After all, I’m not exactly someone with a lot of cash to his name.” His hands fall into his pockets. “I’m just a man playing the guitar on the street.”

Despite the summary Jeremy gave him, Ryan sees so much more.

When they arrive at Jack’s apartment, Ryan leaves Jeremy alone in the living room as he takes off towards Jack’s bedroom. He’s sure Jack has a sweater that could fit Jeremy somewhere in his closet, along with a pair of pants that were fitting enough for Jeremy to be presented to the socialite’s downstairs. Folding the clothing, he sets them down on the sink of the bathroom before starting up the shower.

He walks back towards the living room, stopping in the doorway when he sees Jeremy looking at the pictures. Most of them are of Jack’s family, of course, but there are a few of Ryan and Geoff with their family as well. Geoff insisted they have them up alongside his family photos, considering them all to be a large family. It made Ryan feel loved.

“Shower is waiting for you,” Ryan tells him, making Jeremy turn to face him. “I laid out some clothes in there for you as well.” He walks towards the mantle Jeremy had been glancing at, smiling at a photo of him and his family. “That picture was taken on my birthday a few years back.”

Jeremy smiles softly, looking at the picture. “You don’t look like your parents, has anyone ever told you that?”

Ryan stiffens. It’s a subject that is brought up a lot, a subject he’s never been awfully fond of discussing. Mostly, the topic led to hurtful memories that he hated discussing. He swallows, clearing his throat. “I’m adopted, actually. That was the third birthday I had ever had with my family.” _Three years since my real parents passed._ He thinks bitterly.

Jeremy bites his bottom lip. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” He looks off down the hall, jutting a thumb out towards the bathroom. “I’m going to go take that shower, I promise I won’t take too long.” He’s gone before Ryan can say another word.

Left alone in the living room, Ryan looks back at the picture. He’s smiling in the photo; he looks happy almost. Ryan knows, though, that his little heart was still broken when that photo had been taken. Hell, he was in his thirties now and the pain of his parents passing away so many years ago was still taking him over.

Ryan wasn’t going to dwell on that tonight. Tonight, was about throwing the best Christmas party he could for Geoff. Ryan wasn’t going to let his sadness, or his obvious attraction to the man singing ‘Fly Me to The Moon’ in the shower, show.

Knowing him, he was going to fail at both things.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️

The change of clothes Ryan provides him with are a near perfect fit, and the warmth they provide is something Jeremy hasn’t had in so long. It’s strange to wear clothing that doesn’t feel tattered and worn, but rather expensive and soft to the touch. His hair feels healthy again, conditioned and losing the feeling of grease and straw. He was even able to trim the thick beard that had built up against his jaw, leaving himself trimmed and ready to take on just about anything.

“I know that your guitar looked rather broken down,” Ryan comments as they stand on stage in the ballroom, half of the stage already set up for Jeremy’s set. It makes everything feel more real than it already was and reminds Jeremy that this was happening; he was performing in a hotel, for Christmas, and not freezing his ass off outside in the winter snow. “So, I managed to find one that could replace it, or at least one that can be used for tonight.”

It's a near replica of the one Jeremy has had for years, minus the battered edges his has endured over the years. This one is smooth, fitting into Jeremy’s hands as if it was meant to be in them. It sure helps ease the tension resting in Jeremy’s shoulders that was for sure. “Where did you get something like this on such short notice?”

Ryan shrugs at him, dismissing the question altogether. “Don’t worry about it, consider it a Christmas gift from me.” Jeremy can’t help but notice the slight bit of blush dusting the cheeks of the man and while he desperately wants to call attention to it, he keeps his mouth shut. “Now, I don’t exactly have a set list for you, figured you could just wing it. The band has a huge repertoire of Christmas music for you at hand, just make sure you inform them just what you want to sing?” Jeremy nods, tuning the guitar as Ryan speaks. “All I ask of you is to make a good impression, yeah? The owner of the hotel is watching, and the last thing I need is for him to belittle me for not finding a good enough talent.”

Jeremy rolls his eyes at Ryan’s words, shaking his head. “I am good enough, mind you. I don’t think I would be standing here if you didn’t think I was good enough, now would I?”

Ryan doesn’t seem phased by the bit of venom behind Jeremy’s words, simply groaning and turning his attention to his cell phone. “I know, I know. I just don’t need Geoff on my ass about a performance that I didn’t even want to plan, or even a Christmas party that I wanted nothing to do with.” Shoving his cell phone back in his pocket he turns to face Jeremy one last time. “If he likes you, that could mean big things. Don’t fuck up your chance.” He offers what Jeremy assumes must be a friendly smile, but it’s hard to determine exactly.

The sudden change in behavior is what has Jeremy confused about the rich man. Before Ryan had been so kind to him, offering to help him in terms of shelter and warmth, when suddenly the cold shoulder came out. If Jeremy had not already felt the vibe of Christmas hatred Ryan had, he certainly did now. It was only a matter of just _why_ someone could hate such a joyful holiday that has Jeremy feeling even more drawn to this handsome rich man.

He watches Ryan walk away with his cell phone glued to his ear, curious about what made this man tick. It had only been a couple of hours since they had met, and Jeremy was already completely intrigued by him. Not just because Ryan showed him compassion and kindness, but because the man still remained quite the mystery. Normally Jeremy could read someone to a perfect T. Ryan, however, was a complete anomaly.

He speaks with the band briefly afterward to get a feel for the set list, finding himself a little surprised when they recognize some of the more modern Christmas songs. Jeremy wanted a good mix when it came to the party, even though he did love the classic Christmas songs. They would play them constantly at the orphanage when he was younger, even in the foster homes he grew up in. Yet he also loved the more rock sounding Christmas songs, and while this rich group didn’t seem all too fond of him at first glance it seemed, he was still going to play music he enjoyed. After all, it was his performance.

Ryan comes back to them before they are about to perform, only to tell them that Mr. Ramsey was watching them currently. Jeremy honestly did not care what Mr. Ramsey thought of him or his performance mostly focused on just doing what he thought was his best. While the attention of someone with power and money was intriguing in order to get his name out there somehow, Jeremy was more focused on getting through the performance without possibly passing out. Busking was less of an audience, this was something else completely.

“The setlist looks great,” Ryan tells him, hands stuffed into his expensive suit. “Surprised to find a bit of a rock vibe in them, if I am honest. I shouldn’t be, considering the bright orange hair and all.”

Jeremy smirks, adjusting the strap of his guitar. “I hope Mr. Ramsey doesn’t think it’s too much for his little party.”

Ryan snorts. “I’m sure he will just appreciate the fact that there is some form of entertainment is all. I think you will do amazing if that is any consolation.” He goes to step away, wishing good luck to them once more, but Jeremy reaches forward to grab his arm before he can leave. There has been a question in his mind that has bothered him since they had met, and he needed to get it out now. Who knows if he would see Ryan afterward?

“Tell me if I am overstepping in any way, but why do you dislike Christmas?”

Ryan seems to stiffen, yet he doesn’t make a move to get away from Jeremy. He assumes that’s a good thing. “Oh, um,” he clears his throat, adjusting his tie. “I just simply don’t enjoy the holiday. Now, I must go speak with some of the guests, make sure everyone is enjoying themselves.” He steps off the stage, but before he officially leaves earshot Jeremy spits out a promise he intends to keep.

“I am going to change your mind Ryan Haywood!” he promises, and the only way he knows Ryan even heard him is because the man turns around to give him two thumbs up.

Ryan Haywood may dislike Christmas, but Jeremy Dooley was now dead set on changing his mind.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️

Jeremy was absolutely mesmerizing up on that stage.

Ryan knows he has other things he should really be focusing on, such as the party guests and speaking with his adoptive parents who have just arrived, but he can’t help but be incredibly drawn to the beautiful voice coming out of the man on stage. He was incredible, his vocals sounding far better now that he was in front of a microphone and had the proper instruments backing him up. Ryan may dislike Christmas music entirely, but Jeremy’s current rendition of ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ had him humming along despite it.

A few of the guests seem slightly put off by Jeremy’s appearance, which Ryan knows is not as formal as everyone in the crowd. It was hard enough finding clothing in his closet that Jeremy could fit in, and while Ryan thought Jeremy looked incredible in what he had selected, it seems as though some of the guests could disagree with that. He could see the looks on most of their faces, but it was covered up by the majority of the crowd dancing and enjoying the performance.

“Ryan!” he hears someone call out to him from within the crowd, only to find his adoptive mother holding her wine glass up high to catch his attention. She wears a beautiful grin on her face as she approaches him, kissing his cheek the minute she reaches him. “This party has been so spectacular so far, you have really outdone yourself.”

“Thanks, mom,” Ryan grins as his father approaches a little more slowly, taking his dad’s hand and shaking firmly. “Nice to see you here, dad. Figured you and your friends would be off in your own little corner enjoying yourselves to the scotch at the bar.”

Ryan’s adoptive father was a rather strict man. While he was a lot kinder around Geoff, Jack, or even his wife, it seemed that when he was around Ryan or anyone else for that matter, he was rather stiff and to the point. It made Ryan feel as though he was one of his father’s employees rather than his adoptive son. “Not sure about the man you have chosen to perform. I thought you had hired a band Jack recommend?”

Ryan swallows. “They made a last-minute cancellation. I had to improvise rather quickly, but Jeremy is absolutely incredible.”

Ryan’s mother raises an eyebrow at the mention of Jeremy’s name, taking a sip of her wine. “Where exactly did you find this Jeremy boy? He doesn’t exactly seem like the type of boy you spend your time with.” She doesn’t sound as disapproving as his father did, but there seems to be a hint of it underneath her kindness.

“Actually, I found him right outside of the hotel,” Ryan admits out loud, eyes steady on Jeremy as the boy belts his heart out. He belongs up there, truly. “He was out front busking, and he was _incredible._ Even with how damaged his guitar was he managed to play so beautifully. The last thing I wanted was him to stay out there as it got colder, and with that cancellation throwing a wrench into things I decided to give him a shot.”

Ryan’s father scoffs, looking towards the stage with what appeared to distain. “He certainly looks like someone you would find off the street. Ryan, I know that you have a specific hatred towards Christmas, but the least you could have done is find an act that wasn’t homeless.” He shakes his head as he looks back at Ryan, hands stuffed away into his pockets. “I am going to see if I can find Robert and the guys.”

As he walks away, Ryan’s mother sighs softly. “Your father’s words do contain some merit, Ryan. You cannot bring some poor, homeless man into an event so formal. Most of the people that spend their time outside of this place are begging for handouts.”

“Really?” Ryan starts, arms folded across his chest as he looks at his mother. “I was trying to do something out of kindness. He was outside freezing his ass off and was making quite the load of money. In return, he expected nothing, didn’t ask me for money? He tried rejecting everything I offered him, and you dare to tell me he is begging for handouts?” The song Jeremy had been playing begins to fade out in the background, the crowd cheering as Ryan pushes past his mother to head towards the stage. He can hear her calling out to him, but he doesn’t care.

Jeremy is smiling wide, face slightly sweaty from the performance. Ryan has never seen someone so in their element before, the wide smile as a feeling of immense pride rushes through their system. Seeing Jeremy up there with such a smile, such excitement over being up there? It made Ryan’s heart thud rather quickly.

“This next song I dedicate to a friend of mine, who, for some reason, has decided that Christmas is his least favorite holiday,” He turns towards the corner of the stage, where Ryan now stands. The boy rolls his eyes at Jeremy’s words. “Hope you enjoy this. Count it as one of my attempts to change your mind.” He winks, before strumming softly on his guitar to the tune of ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’.

A smile manages to creep its way onto Ryan’s face as Jeremy sings, and he doesn’t bother with forcing it away. Maybe it was a miracle, but for a moment, just watching Jeremy sing so beautifully about the rather awful holiday, Ryan could feel himself beginning to get into the Christmas spirit.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️

Jeremy is given a short intermission before he must perform again, one long enough that he can search the crowd for Ryan. The man had managed to vanish shortly after Jeremy had dedicated one of his songs to him, and while Jeremy knew that the man was most likely busy with other affairs in regards to the party, he needed to speak with him, thank him.

“Hey, kid!” One of the stagehands calls out to him, making Jeremy turn in surprise. “There is a man over here that would like to speak with you. He said it wouldn’t take too long if you are busy.”

Jeremy looks over towards the other end of the stage, where a man in a suit stands with a welcoming grin and his hands clasped. Jeremy tries not to look so excited once he realizes just who the man is, keeping all of his excitement contained as much as he can as he strides towards him. This was a man he had seen plastered on the magazines in front of the shabby hotel he lived in, the one in all of the rock magazines Jeremy managed to scour from the lobby when no one was looking.

“Joel Heyman,” the man introduces himself, shaking Jeremy’s hand with complete and utter glee. “Before I start I must say that your performance was absolutely incredible. You have some talent within you, kid.”

“Thank you!” Jeremy breathes out. “I, um, have never actually performed on a stage before, so I’m glad to hear that I wasn’t complete rubbish.” He’s wringing his hands nervously, being in the presence of an actual celebrity was not something he was used to. Hell, he’s pretty sure Ryan might be some kind of celebrity but at least Ryan didn’t have his face plastered all over.

Joel laughs, patting Jeremy’s shoulder with a proud smile. “I wouldn’t have known that was your first time performing if you hadn’t just told me! That was incredible for a first-timer, you belonged up there.” Wrapping an arm around Jeremy, he leads him back towards the stage, looking up there with what Jeremy could only imagine was a vision. He couldn’t think of anything else the man would want Jeremy to see on the stage. After all, he was just on there. “I can see something bright up there, in your future. It’s a little too soon to determine much, but I’m sure as soon as I witness the rest of your set it will be enough to win me over.”

Jeremy feels like he is about to pass out. “You really mean that? This isn’t just you saying things because it is Christmas?”

“I wouldn’t say that unless I was telling the truth,” Joel promises, reaching into his coat for a business card and placing it into Jeremy’s open palm. “There is a good chance we will be talking by the end of the night, but I want you to have this just in case I cannot catch you. If I answer, your performance won me over.” With one last pat on the shoulder, Joel disappears back into the crowd and out of Jeremy’s sight.

Now more than ever, Jeremy wants to find Ryan.

He eventually finds Ryan sitting at the lobby with a glass in his hand and looking rather discouraged. He swirls the drink around in the glass, deadly focused on it as Jeremy approaches. He only looks up when Jeremy sits down beside him, but even that does not make any emotion reach his face. “So, I just finished up a conversation with Joel Heyman.”

Ryan stops swirling his drink, turning to look at Jeremy with a raised eyebrow. “Music producer Joel Heyman?”

Jeremy nods excitedly. “He pulled me aside when I got off stage, told me that I have some potential. He wants to see the rest of my set to see if I have the potential he wants on his label!” It feels as though his chest is about to burst with the excitement rushing through him, and he is so thankful to Ryan for giving him the chance to even _perform._ “Thank you, Ryan. For allowing me to even do this.”

Ryan’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but nonetheless, he looks happy for Jeremy. “You deserve to be on a stage, Jeremy. You’ve proven yourself that much.” He sets his drink down, getting up and wrapping an arm around Jeremy’s shoulders to lead them back into the party, where the band has taken over with playing instrumentals in place of vocals. _Oh Holy Night_ has couples pairing up around them and swaying to the soft sound, leaving Jeremy awkwardly standing beside Ryan.

Ryan doesn’t move away though, instead, he takes Jeremy’s hand in his and leading him towards the dance floor with a raised eyebrow in the form of a question. _Do you want to dance?_

Jeremy would be foolish to say no.

For a moment it is only the two of them on the dance floor, with none of the rich socialites around them, the stress of Joel Heyman giving him the offer, or even the ever-elusive Geoff Ramsey that Ryan keeps mentioning was holding the event. None of those people mattered except for Ryan Haywood, holding Jeremy close with a hand on his hip and the other holding Jeremy’s free hand as they sway to the music around them.

It doesn’t feel as though the two of them had met tonight; It feels as though he’s known Ryan for years, that the man in his arms is someone he’s been acquainted with his entire life as opposed to being the one plucking Jeremy off the street only a few hours prior. In just the short amount of time that the two of them have known each other, Ryan has done so much for him that Jeremy isn’t sure he could ever repay the man.

He pulls back to say so, to tell Ryan just what he feels in that moment and his gratitude, but he finds himself lost in Ryan’s eyes, in the softness of his features, and the rhythm of the music around him. In an impulsive moment, he moves forward and presses his lips against Ryan’s.

Ryan doesn’t pull away in disgust, nor does he stand frozen in place. Instead, his hand moves from Jeremy’s hip up to his face, keeping Jeremy close and allowing their lips to move in perfect harmony. There isn’t a rushing sensation of ‘this is _the_ kiss’ that follows, nor is there the overwhelming heartbeat in his chest that threatens to burst. It’s the most comforting feeling of being in the right place for the first time in his life, without the stress of something going wrong. It is, in the simplest way Jeremy could put it, perfect.

Which is why it’s almost heartbreaking when it ends, with Ryan pulling away rather abruptly and keeping Jeremy at an arm’s distance. Gone is the shared feeling Ryan had in his eyes when they first kissed, replaced by a cloud of confusion and what Jeremy wants to deny as regret. “I shouldn’t have done that,” Ryan concludes.

Jeremy blinks, trying to hide his embarrassment by looking towards the stage. The band has wrapped up _Oh Holy Night,_ and he’s due back on the stage soon. This could be a perfect breakaway, to save himself the humiliation that his feelings were not reciprocated. “It’s my fault, really.”

“I can’t be with you that way,” Ryan continues, running a hand down his face. He appears to be at war with himself at that moment, but when Jeremy reaches out towards him, he steps even further away. “I can’t be with someone I found on the street. I’m sorry.”

The words cement themselves into Jeremy’s heart, and in turn, create a rise of anger in his chest. He’s grown used to hateful words towards him over the years over his appearance, been spit on by people passing him on the street over sheer disgust over things he couldn’t control. Now he’s experiencing the hate from someone he truly thought was worth something to him, and that was the most disappointing thing he’s experienced thus far.

“I wouldn’t want to be with someone so entitled, anyway,” Jeremy retorts, pushing past Ryan and making his way towards the stage. He ignores the stinging in his eyes as he pulls himself onto the stage, ignores the way the band looks at him with what he could only describe as pity as if they saw the entire thing happen before their eyes.

Instead, he instructs the band to begin playing the next song and channels out his emotions entirely.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️

 “I’m sure it’s the last thing you want to hear, but you are a fucking idiot.”

Ryan was beginning to regret confiding in his best friend. Geoff had found him shortly after Jeremy had stormed off back towards the stage, originally coming over to congratulate him on the entertainment he brought in for the party but instead questioning why said entertainment was angrily leaving Ryan behind. It was then that Ryan had broken down in front of his best friend and confessed, ultimately, that he had fucked up majorly.

They had retreated to the lobby of the Plaza, Geoff agreeing it would be best for the two of them to discuss Ryan’s stupidity away from the party and away from the other rich friends that would try and listen in. While the lobby was still busy with the various partygoers coming and going, it was a lot less crowded than the actual party had been. He could only slightly hear Jeremy performing now, which was just another bonus.

Jack had joined them halfway through the story, but he had certainly been more comforting to Ryan’s woes than Geoff. “That’s not why you don’t want to be with him, is it? The Ryan I know is not that shallow.”

Ryan groans, the sound muffled from his head being held in his hands. “I could care less that he was off the streets. He’s nicer than half of the people in that damn party right now, and he certainly has more talent than they could boast.” He lifts his head up and rests it against Jack’s shoulder, reaching for the cup in his friend’s hands and taking a drink. He pulls a face immediately. “God, what _is_ that?”

Jack scowls at him, taking the cup back and shrugging his friend off his shoulder. “Alcohol, stupid! Unlike you and Geoff, I can admire a nice glass of whiskey.” He takes his own drink from the cup before returning to the task at hand. “So why did you tell him that?”

Ryan bites down on his lower lip. “My parents were giving me shit about bringing Jeremy in from the street to perform, that I should have known better, and I guess it got to me?” He groans once more, leaning backward and smacking his head against the back of the lobby chair. “Geoff’s right, I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Yeah, you are,” Geoff confirms, kicking Ryan’s leg to get the man to look at him. “Yet you still managed to put some great talent up there despite the band canceling last minute. You created a kick-ass party out there, even though you hate the holiday. You might be a bit of an idiot because you don’t know when to keep your mouth shut, but you are a hell of a good friend despite it all. I am not going to sit here and let your stupid ass decision undo you.” He forces Ryan to his feet, Ryan nearly falling over from the sudden movement but nonetheless standing upright. “Now, you are going to go in there, you are going to march right up to that Jeremy kid, and you are going to kiss the living daylights out of him and ride off into the sunset, yeah?”

Jack rolls his eyes at Geoff’s speech, but still grabs Ryan’s shoulder and shoves the man towards the direction of the party. “Just go get your man back, okay? The last thing we need around here is you dragging down the Christmas cheer.” He gives Ryan a wink, shooing him away from the pair and off towards the direction of the party, where Ryan could hear the distinct beginning of Last Christmas.

As if Ryan didn’t feel awful enough.

Once again, it’s perfectly clear that Jeremy belongs up on the stage. The persona he puts on behind the microphone, a guitar in his hand, is something unlike any other talent Ryan had seen come and go through the hotel’s doors. He knew from the beginning that Jeremy was special, that he had an undeniable talent that couldn’t be matched. However, the clear pain in Jeremy’s vocals as the rather sad holiday tune played was enough to further cement that Ryan had clearly messed up.

He can only hope he can turn this around if he could get Jeremy to listen to him and not run away.

Ryan approaches the stage as the song comes to a close, waiting for Jeremy to pull away from the microphone before he makes his move. The last thing he wants to do is take away Jeremy’s spotlight when the man has proven he belongs there. It’s still a stab to the heart when Jeremy looks down at him with loathing in his eyes, but it doesn’t stop Ryan from reaching out for him and grabbing his wrist, halting the man from leaving the stage completely. The crowd doesn’t seem to be paying them much attention, already resuming their previous conversations and the band returning to speaking with each other and playing with their instruments.

“I’m sorry for what I said,” Ryan blurts out, relieved when Jeremy doesn’t attempt to tug his wrist out of Ryan’s grasp. “It was completely uncalled for, and it couldn’t be further from the truth.”

“Well, I thought you were pretty damn clear,” Jeremy spits, refusing to look at Ryan. “I don’t care that you’ve given me the chance to be on an actual stage when in return you see me as nothing more than a piece of garbage you found on the street. I don’t need your fucking charity, you know. I’m perfectly happy with busking on the street for people who actually give a damn about what I do.”

“What about Heyman?” Ryan counters, keeping his voice level. The last thing he wants to do is create a huge spectacle around them. “From the sound of it, that man thought you had incredible talent, that you meant for more than performing for snotty rich people who are only here because it makes them appear popular to their friends. Mr. Ramsey, the guy who put me in charge of this whole thing? He was praising you to the guests.” He releases his grip on Jeremy’s wrist, allowing his hand to fall to his side. “You are meant for more than just some dirty street corner, Jeremy. You are meant for the bright stage lights, fans who take in your lyrics and fall in love with you for your performance and person. Heyman could take you there, but not if you return to begging for dollar bills on a ratty guitar.” He takes a deep breath. “I know I am the very last person you want to hear this from, but I believe in you. For the first time since my fucking parents died, I was starting to enjoy Christmas again, and it was because of _you.”_

The silence that follows his words is overwhelming, and he nearly makes a rush for the exit before Jeremy could even have a chance to respond. It’s been so long since he’s spoken about his parents, his _real_ parents, and suddenly the Christmas lights around them and the cheerfulness embodied in the guests just feels too much. If it wasn’t for Jeremy stepping forward and taking his hand, he would have already bolted.

“That’s why you hate Christmas,” Jeremy concludes, running his thumb across Ryan’s knuckles. “Because you lost your parents.”

“ _On_ Christmas,” Ryan clarifies, squeezing his eyes shut to prevent the tears from falling. “I lost my parents on what used to be my favorite holiday, and because of that I can’t stand to even look at the celebration as anything but a cruel reminder of what I lost.”

It’s unexpected when Jeremy’s arms wrap around him and pull him into his chest. He’s hesitant to wrap his arms around the man at first, but he eventually allows himself to melt into the man, allowing himself to release the tears from his eyes and finally get the pain he’s bottled inside for so long out.

“Do you know why I love Christmas so much?” Jeremy asks him, running his fingers through Ryan’s ponytail. “It was my mother’s favorite holiday when she was alive. Before the foster homes, before I was playing music to get by, I had an incredible mother who poured her heart into the holiday every year. I remember how she would go all out, with a real Christmas tree from this old tree lot, we would make our own ornaments.” He pulls away from Ryan, though their hands find each other and intertwine. “Despite losing her, I still love the holiday _because_ of her. This holiday gave me the greatest memories I have of her.”

Ryan squeezes Jeremy’s hands, smiling at the man through the tears as he asks, “What are you trying to tell me?”

“While losing them on your favorite holiday is a good reason to hate it all, maybe you just need a new reason to love it.” He steps forward, their chests nearly press together as he asks, “Maybe I could be that reason, Ryan.”

Ryan grins, hand reaching up to cup Jeremy’s face. “I might need a little more convincing.”

He already knew what his parents would think of this entire scene, how mortified they would be to see Ryan kissing the man they had told him was nothing more than some person asking for handouts. Others around him were probably sticking their noses up at the act, simply because how _dare_ someone of Ryan’s caliber be with someone who was simply hired to entertain them?

In the end, Ryan didn’t care about any of them. Right now, his main focus was the way Jeremy’s lips slotted perfectly against his own, how his beard felt in Ryan’s hand as he kept the man in place. How for the first time in forever, Ryan started to believe in Christmas once more.

When they pull away, Jeremy asks, “Would it be too cheesy to ask the band to play ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You?’”

Ryan laughs, resting his forehead against Jeremy’s before leaning down to kiss him once more.

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me on tumblr at cherryraindrops!!


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